Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
My wife caught me jerking off, I had to tell her I was thinking bout her
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
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