He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
Found out it was only pneumonia. We celebrated hydrocodone cough syrup. Two long island ice teas at lunch and the random white powder we found in her purse. Mother of the year award.
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
