Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
He woke up wondering who broke in and rearranged all the furniture. He reviewed 11 hours of security footage before I told him he did it while whiskey-drunk.
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
TSA found the edibles
Fuck
Oh my god he just. Swiped them for explosives and handed them back to me
God bless California
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
