when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
You almost hooked up with 200lb woman in her mid-forties, because you were convinced she was adele. Your drinking problem is officially out of control.
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
...Just this whole adulting thing gets in the way of mermaid drag shows at lesbian bars.
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
Randomize
