Why is half of me covered in green stuff that won't come off?
You stripper-danced on a light pole in the quad. It had fresh paint on it.
I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
I'm using emojis for drug deals now. It's time to kill me.
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
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