took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
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At the hospital, the nurse kept telling me that i either had appendicitis, a tubular pregnancy, or an ovarian cyst. I kept asking if i could just have chlamydia instead...
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
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I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
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