I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
Slut skills are useful in every country.
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
I swear, its like my old fuck buddies have a 6th sense for when I'm going to be daydrunk. Then they start texting me. And then I start sexting them
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
Randomize
