it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
YAS. BRING CRAB.
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
Woke up way too warm in the middle of a spooning sandwich. Was working up a rant about still not wanting a threesome. Then I realized the littlest spoon was the dog. Might need to break up anyway.
Randomize
