I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
TRUE LIFE: my roommate is growing a bush.
better yet, TRUE LIFE: my roommates boyfriend begged her to grow a bush.
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
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