someone is gonna have my baby tonight. they just dont know it yet
I'll alert the authorities
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
Something like; Dear Cupid, when are you going to send me someone to date that isn't a complete psychopath
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
Randomize
