so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
cab driver says "I saw your friend who opens her legs. she went home with two guys." pretty sure he was talking about you
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
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