Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
Randomize
