Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
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i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
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Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
You just stood up, raised your glass and said, "I'd like to thank the academy" then fell through a glass table. THAT'S why we cut you off.
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
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