i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Almost screamed "GO FISH MOTHER FUCKER" at the girl I nanny today. Drunken card games shouldn't bleed into my sober life.
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
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