i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
I had a long pep-talk with my penis that ended in "I love you, I'll try harder and I'm sorry."
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
Randomize
