Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
Randomize