where am i from again
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
Now that we have successfully procreated, I need to know we are on the same page. Please tell me you are aware that there are whole seasons of our lives that our child can NEVER be made privy to.
We should probably write this down. That's a shit load of shit.
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
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