like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
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