Skipping work because i'm still too drunk from last night still. got home at midnight and passed out in front of my door for 2 hours bc i couldn't find my key
had to call my rooommate to let us in. Passed out in my dress and found the key on my hair tie-in my hair- just now.
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
This dudes playing guitar and singing outside our window and he's like "ravioli is beterrrrrrr than tortelliniIii cause tortelliniiii is shaped like fucking ears"
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
Randomize
