Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
A little girl and i are having a face making battle in mcdonalds
She started it, but I totally finished it.
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
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