i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
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