idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
my mom just asked me why she found a half-eaten burrito in the hamper
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
Randomize
