Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
Why the fuck do they always fuck on couches in porn?
Don't ever text me while you're jacking off. EVER.
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
Randomize
