her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
Randomize
