I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
Hello, the Less Drunk that has my sister's phone. I am the Moderately Drunk. I am questioning your Friday activities. Why are you not the More Drunk?
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
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