We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
If you're still awake, how rude would it be if I masturbated in her new apartment on moving day? If you're asleep, then ask me how it was.
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
Your last day of twenties? OK. Then I'll give you til midnight. Then you turn into a pumpkin. A big, 30 year old pumpkin.
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
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