I would like to remind you that Mike's hard lemonade only goes good with an extra light cigarette and seminal fluid.
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
Randomize
