she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
Maybe he injected his testicle?
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
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