We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Randomize
