areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.. I just figured you were drunk and needed somewhere to crash, but your no where to be found. I'll I have is this corn dog. call me when you get this. I'm worried! --mom
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
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