So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
Randomize
