You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
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