All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
Randomize
