I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
I've decided if you aren't here in fifteen minutes I'm leaving you for Mario the 75 year old Colombian bartender.
Randomize
