A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
Randomize
