this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
My dermatologist just asked me, "what happened here?" referring to the bruising on my nipples. I told her I walked into a door. Thanks for that awkward moment.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
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