Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
turns out my ex girlfriend has become my most successful wingman. life is fuckin weird sometimes
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
There's a hole in our hallway wall. Don't hate me. I'll fix it. It's only about the size of a beach ball. I promise to never scale walls in our apartment ever again. Don't hate me. I love you.
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
I’m 37 with a career and a home and yesterday my niece set up Snapchat so I can sext with my 22 year old boyfriend/fuck buddy. Yes. Yes I’d say I need help?
Randomize
