oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
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