dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
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