Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(216): View more from Ohio

In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.

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(708): View more from Illinois

I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt

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(520): View more from Arizona

just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store

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(469): View more from Texas

I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.

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Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
Read it at the TFLN blog
(646): View more from New York

Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.

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(617): View more from Massachusetts

Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.

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(616): View more from Michigan

I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza

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(256): View more from Alabama

I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.

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(616): View more from Michigan

Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud

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