Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(312): View more from Illinois

Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.

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(312): Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita. http://tfl.nu/kc15

Replies (6) Good night (2666) Bad night (1141)
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(810): View more from Michigan

Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.

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(810): Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time. http://tfl.nu/rbpy

Replies (6) Good night (934) Bad night (2088)
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(510): View more from California

You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...

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(510): You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock... http://tfl.nu/jcau

Replies (236) Good night (954) Bad night (3757)
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(623): View more from Arizona

were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.

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(623): were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds. http://tfl.nu/6mgz

Replies (41) Good night (4214) Bad night (731)
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(609): View more from New Jersey

Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock

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(609): Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock http://tfl.nu/dnop

Replies (6) Good night (4844) Bad night (1244)
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(951): View more from California

My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now

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(951): My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now http://tfl.nu/leuk

Replies (13) Good night (4438) Bad night (1546)
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(610): View more from Pennsylvania

Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......

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(610): Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain....... http://tfl.nu/fodn

Replies (26) Good night (1664) Bad night (7188)
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(205): View more from Alabama

I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.

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(205): I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030. http://tfl.nu/rrwq

Replies (6) Good night (2544) Bad night (844)
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(937): View more from Ohio

Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.

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(937): Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast. http://tfl.nu/uerp

Replies (7) Good night (1361) Bad night (612)
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(714): View more from California

i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo

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(714): i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo http://tfl.nu/2wsz

Replies (2) Good night (1143) Bad night (366)
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(925): View more from California

Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.

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(925): Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude. http://tfl.nu/h87p

Replies (7) Good night (1674) Bad night (407)
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(636): View more from Missouri

PS: I just woke up from my shower

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(636): PS: I just woke up from my shower http://tfl.nu/57k9

Replies (6) Good night (1318) Bad night (550)
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(713): View more from Texas

Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.

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(713): Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off. http://tfl.nu/4xox

Replies (7) Good night (934) Bad night (429)
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(202): View more from Washington, DC

He stumbled in drunk at 7am, while we were getting ready for work. He poured a bowl of Cap'n Crunch, poured Jack Daniels on it., and said he was having "Captain Jack" for breakfast. I don't know how he's alive and employed. I hope the Cap'n calls in sick for him today.

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(202): He stumbled in drunk at 7am, while we were getting ready for work. He poured a bowl of Cap'n Crunch, poured Jack Daniels on it., and said he was having "Captain Jack" for breakfast. I don't know how he's alive and employed. I hope the Cap'n calls in sick for him today. http://tfl.nu/mcan

Replies (2) Good night (1059) Bad night (259)
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(631): View more from New York

10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.

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(631): 10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists. http://tfl.nu/k224

Replies (5) Good night (833) Bad night (232)

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