dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
well, you know. whores of a feather.
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
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