Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
I get a nice feeling when i open my fridge and see it filled with thirty beers and half a leftover jimmy johns pickle.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
Hard not to be concerned when you call me, tell me you've discovered the secret to flying, vomit, then hang up the phone. So yes, I'm coming to pick you up.
Also fuck yeah conspiracy