I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.