You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
I'm drunk in f*****g wisconsin and want to kill myself.
If it's any consolation, be grateful that you're not in New Jersey.
I'm either going to be a Playboy Playmate or take over the world. Either way the world wins.
Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
i've created a new STD.
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse