I think I died a long time ago.
In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
So I called her out for all the gossip she does and she's like "you do the same, bitch"
So I was like "Im classy like the Countess, youre just a bitch like Kim."
Kudos on the Interstate Housewife metaphor.
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
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