Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
my soul wont recognize me after tonight
...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
That chode just called off the engagement. I just dropped his toothbrush in the toilet. And I’ve forgotten to take my birth control for the past two weeks. He’s fucked!
I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
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