He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
Randomize
