Texts From Last Night

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  (651): View more from Minnesota

  the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.

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  (651): the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction. http://tfl.nu/x0dk
  Replies (35) Good night (3130) Bad night (1527)
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  (818): View more from California

  I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head

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  (818): I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head http://tfl.nu/6xrq
  Replies (141) Good night (2180) Bad night (4901)
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  (317): View more from Indiana

  Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke

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  (317): Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke http://tfl.nu/o61t
  Replies (16) Good night (6310) Bad night (720)
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  (301): View more from Maryland

  im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.

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  (301): im trying to catch a child molester. call you later. http://tfl.nu/dlxg
  Replies (21) Good night (5229) Bad night (956)
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  (405): View more from Oklahoma

  The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick

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  (405): The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick http://tfl.nu/0oxs
  Replies (12) Good night (1029) Bad night (4046)
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  (231): View more from Michigan

  I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!

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  (231): I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers! http://tfl.nu/0unq
  Replies (28) Good night (6415) Bad night (1437)
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  (870): View more from Arkansas

  She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...

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  (870): She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again... http://tfl.nu/jy0r
  Replies (18) Good night (4821) Bad night (1341)
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  (304): View more from West Virginia

  She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country

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  (304): She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country http://tfl.nu/39z8
  Replies (16) Good night (4795) Bad night (779)
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  (917): View more from New York City

  They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"

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  (917): They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?" http://tfl.nu/nrwr
  Replies (5) Good night (3373) Bad night (1426)
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  (212): View more from New York

  The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane

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  (212): The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane http://tfl.nu/6wh0
  Replies (7) Good night (2000) Bad night (874)
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  (828): View more from North Carolina

  is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?

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  (828): is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear? http://tfl.nu/pkiy
  Replies (1) Good night (785) Bad night (1530)
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  (678): View more from Georgia

  I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.

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  (678): I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club. http://tfl.nu/jmao
  Replies (13) Good night (1061) Bad night (502)
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  (217): View more from Illinois

  Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest

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  (217): Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest http://tfl.nu/6z1q
  Replies (3) Good night (712) Bad night (289)
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  (817): View more from Texas

  Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex

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  (817): Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex http://tfl.nu/6b6a
  Replies (3) Good night (943) Bad night (278)
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  (515): View more from Iowa

  I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.

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  (515): I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion. http://tfl.nu/z0x4
  Replies (2) Good night (735) Bad night (236)

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