Walk of Shame. In a state park.
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
I woke up to a text that said "You're a fucking asshole" Why is she so pissed at me?
Im guessing it has something to do with running up to her boyfriend screaming "THIS IS SPARTA" and kicking him in the balls.
Is that considered a cock block?
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
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