I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
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