Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
I'd love to come and give you a massage, but we already duck taped my keys to the ceiling...
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
I just woke up to my family in the living room watching our security camera tape of me last night talking to a stop sign in our backyard... How the fuck did I get that in the yard?
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
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