ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
only you would photoshop your dick
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
Randomize
