Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
Let me know if you need some dick this weekend.
Between the BF being in town, partying at the Side Dick’s house tonight and two Tinder dates tomorrow I’ve got dick to spare!!
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
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