drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
Randomize
