i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
Got hit on at a funeral service by cougar. I think I just got Reverse Will Ferrell'd.
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
Randomize
