Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
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