Your parents are going to be so confused in the morning
More like pissed. but ill be sure to explain my pathological fear of terrorists hiding in the bathtub
I wish i could be there for it
Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
Randomize
