The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
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He told me he was 'pondering the natural wonder that is my ass'
Like, dude. I'm already fucking you, you don't need to wax poetic.
Isn't he wasted enough that he might actually mean it and not just be trying to get you to fuck him without a condom?
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
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that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
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