Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
I can tell how much and what I drank by my morning shits
I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
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