I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
I'm eating animal crackers on my bed next to my vibrator writing about the hopelessness and depravity of humanity. I am LIVING.
How’s your Christmas Eve so far?
I just chased my melatonin with red wine. It’s 12:00pm.
Randomize
