Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
My plan for valentine's day: take a shot for every guy I've slept with. To keep me from going to the hospital I'm only doing half a shot for small dicks
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
Randomize
