Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
"I want to just tie you up so you\'ll still be here like this when I get home." Actual words.
After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
So I come home yesterday and my brother is like "watch this" and it turns out he's been retraining my dog to come running when u say "anal"
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
Randomize
