You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
I'm on a cruise to the Bahamas and this text message is gunna cost me $10 but I need you to pray on my behalf for the things I'm about to do these 2 girls and what I did last night to a 35 year old mother of 3.
Her breakfeast in bed consisted of half a pop tart that I didn't want, and water that I slipped birth control into... Who says chivalry is dead?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
Stop it with the monkey emojis. It's like sexting with Curious George
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
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