that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
You tried to tell her that the salad was an afrodisiac then proceeded to stroke yourself with the feather duster
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
Randomize
