So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize
