Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
when I was too drunk to walk on my own two feet, he stole a shopping cart from the grocery store at the corner and proceeded to wheel me back to my apartment.
Then he tucked me in, gave me a goodnight kiss and slept on my sofa. I woke up this morning and he was making waffles.
he is a god among men.
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
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